Teenage Riot

presenting Levi Michaels and the excessive things he does--

this page contains all of his remixes, mashups, and original works, published under various names.
Thu Apr 23

I. Chris Crowe, 5’10 175 lbs

It’s about 12:30 in the afternoon and we are sitting in a parked car in Indian Wells, CA. The heat is overwhelming, but Tom and I hardly notice. We are watching a stocky, bearded figure in a light blue women’s shirt disappear into a tent across the parking lot. About six miles west of us, Coachella has already begun, and I begin to tense up. We sit in silence, waiting to find out if our plan has worked, or if we are turning right around and burning nine hours back home.

Eventually, the bearded blue guy emerges from the crowd of people, and he starts moving rapidly toward us, staring rigidly ahead. Behind his aviator sunglasses and beard, I am unable to tell if there is good news or bad. He climbs into the driver’s seat and, without a word, turns around to show us an envelope containing half a dozen wristbands and parking documents. The wristbands say “Main Stage” and “All Access” on them.

We are staying in the desert.

Soon, the scenery begins to change. Sand-colored liquor stores, thrift shops and motels begin to overlap and bleed on to one another, most of them missing signs and any discernible features. The ones that do have signs are named in honor of the desert. Sun Motel, Palm Liquor. Do people survive this place? We pass trailer parks, gated communities, and teams of migrant workers. Tom is saying something to Max about his wristband.

“It’s too tight.”


I stare at my wrist. I’m inclined to agree with him, but I’m not about to complain.


“What?” he says.
“My wristband,” says Tom. “It’s too tight.”


Max stares straight ahead at the road. I’m not sure if he heard.


“You mean I just came up with this whole scam, and drove you 9 hours into the desert to get you to Coachella,” he takes his eyes off the road to look at Tom, “and the only thing you can say is ‘my wristband is too tight’?”


“Maxy, it was a great plan, and I thank you profusely for it, but my wristband is still too tight.”


More desert names pass us by. Red Roof Inn, Mirage Motor Park. We pass a cracked trailer on the side of the road with an assortment of clothes and rags on display. A garage sale, I think. Max is still talking about something.


“…phishing, off-shore accounts, knowledge of email spoofing and code… probably no one in the whole damn country could do what I just did for you, and you are complaining about your wristband being tight? Do you know how much trouble I had to go through to make the ID alone?” The growl of Max’s voice raises an octave. Self-admiration aside, he actually does have a point. Tom is unimpressed.


“Not very much, I’m guessing. It looks like shit—couldn’t you have at least laminated it?”


Max begins to defend himself, explaining how he had less than 40 minutes between when his flight got in from New York City and when he had to pick me up from the Amtrak station in San Jose, during which time he had to pack his bags for the weekend and procure an impromptu fake ID (because he hadn’t known he would need to pick up the wristbands in person, and of course he would use a fake name).


The ID flies into the backseat and falls into my lap as they continue arguing. Tom is right—it has an awful pinkish hue and feels like printer paper. I slip the ID into my wallet and think about how we would definitely be on our way home right now if the officials had cared to even glance at it. But we aren’t, and I am thankful. Thankful for the heat, the desert buildings, the wristbands, the palm trees—I think I am in a permanent state of thankfulness.


As the desert scenery continues to repeat itself like one of those old cartoons, I’m listening from the backseat and picking up bits and pieces of the conversation. But I’m looking at my wrist, and my thoughts are not there. They are going some where else, and slowly transforming our surroundings as we go along with them. Our slow, languid crawl to Coachella is almost over.

TBC

Wed Feb 11

Intermission

so it looks like Tindeck.com got fucked over thanks to all the people uploading Brittney Spears and other amazing MP3s that have their copyright on lockdown, so they are taking a short respite to get their hosting back up to par. this means I will have to retrofit the site with new download links once they come back up. so never fear— I’ll be back after this commercial break with some brand new choonz I been workin’ on, and downloads will be available again shortly. stay tuned.

Levi

Sat Jan 24
Fri Jan 23

Hey DJ, Over Here

The following is a list of things that will invariably happen to you if you plan on being the DJ for a crowd at a fraternity/sorority, based on factual events that have repeatedly happened to me in my experience with the particular demographic of California college students. I can offer you my guarantee that these things will happen, regardless of who or where you are, without exception.

1. There is a theme

This doesn’t make much of a difference to you. Instead of dealing with regular whores, you have to deal with pirate whores. Or whores from the 60s. In any case, the decorations that are loosely scotch-taped to the wall fall off and cause a huge disruption on the dance floor. If there is an “era” theme, you are handed a carefully planned out list of songs that are relevant to the time. You don’t play them.

2. There is a soundsystem, but it is horribly damaged in some way

After you carefully explain to the fraternity brothers that the big speakers they plug their iPod into is actually a sophisticated PA system, there will be some initial confusion. You need to find the one frat brother that knows about “that technical shit.” Unfortunately, he’s currently upstairs and in the middle of a bout of “Edward 40-Hands,” and can’t help you. You fumble around a bit with the amplifier and discover that one channel is severely damaged and can’t be used without destroying the ears of hundreds of guests. You use it anyway.

3. Drunk whores spill beer on your equipment

This will happen. No exceptions. Usually when they are dropping by to politely request some “NorCal hyphy shit.” You consider hermetically sealing yourself in a plastic bubble next time.

4. The guy who “knows what he’s doing” with your equipment

You see him eyeing your equipment. He tells you about his setup at home, and the killer mix he just put out. He won’t go away until you let him do a mix, so you hand him the headphones. He fails; everyone glares at you like it’s your fault.

5. Mac Dre comes back from the dead

Or, at least, your guests think that he will if they request him half a dozen more times. Since every Mac Dre MP3 in existence is labeled incorrectly, you can’t find any of the songs that get requested, so you put “Thizzle Dance” on repeat. Nobody notices.

6. Your guests decide that the DJ booth is also the designated coat check

You make the mistake of letting one girl put her coat/purse behind your table, and suddenly there’s a mound of clothes where your chair should be. At some point, a girl loses her phone and frantically tries to get your attention to locate it. You find it at the end of the night and send her friends text messages about getting pregnant.

7. Somebody is not pleased and wants your attention

If you play hiphop, this person wants house. If you play house, they want *Swedish* house. You can’t win, and they want to tap you on the shoulder to let you know.

8. They just wanted an iPod the whole time

Surprise!

Wed Jan 7
Sun Dec 28
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Fri Dec 26
here it is folks, the album cover for the forthcoming Modest Rat album. my eyes hurt from staring at my computer and my ears hurt from the painstaking mastering, but I estimate another week or so before I have enough tracks to release the damn thing. get stoked.
-Levi

here it is folks, the album cover for the forthcoming Modest Rat album. my eyes hurt from staring at my computer and my ears hurt from the painstaking mastering, but I estimate another week or so before I have enough tracks to release the damn thing. get stoked.

-Levi

Wed Dec 24
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Modest Rat — Beat#6 vs. The World at Large

Hardly had to do any work on this one. These two songs fit together very nicely.

DOWNLOAD (320kbit):

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/file/pdxf-Modest%20Rat%20—%20Beat6%20vs.%20The%20World%20at%20Large.mp3

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Modest Rat — El Pico vs. Spitting Venom

I’m really starting to dig this project. I like how combining two songs can totally change the feel of both of them.

DOWNLOAD (320kbit):

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/file/gxjb-Modest%20Rat%20—%20El%20Pico%20vs.%20Spitting%20Venom.mp3

Mon Dec 22
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Modest Rat — Kennedy vs. Tiny Cities

Here’s number three of the Modest Rat project. After I make like 7 or 8 of these I will release them all as a zip file.

DOWNLOAD (320kbit):

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/file/ewuf-Modest%20Rat%20—%20Kennedy%20vs.%20Tiny%20Cities.mp3